over it! over it over it over!!!!!

i am sooooooooo sick of myself!

sick of the games i play.

sick of the habits i won't let go of!

we are up to week 7 in the 12wbt. and have i lost any weight, cleaned up my eating or stepped up my exercise? noooooooooo! why not? cos i'm a fat lazy ass that's why!!!!!

i have been given the gift of someone doing the meal planning for me....yet i still choose to eat crap.

i know what bad ingedients go in to fizzy drinks, especially red bull. yet i still drink them.

i hate how tired i am. i want to get up and exercise at 5am, yet i sleep through my alarm most of the time!

i hate the pimples my face keeps breaking out in. it's disgusting!

i hate how my mood swings so much. always thought that was just the way i was. nope, i think the food aids it a little bit! it sucks.

so i am now so far over it, over the fat rolls, over the bloated tummy, over the short-temperedness with the girls, over being unable to feel awake until i've had choclate and red bull. over putting crap in my body and expecting a different result!

so here's what i am going to do:

1. get organised. meal plans are released on thursdays. i will organised our meals, get the shopping list ready so as i can do the shopping for the week over the weekend. if there is a meal i don't eat, such as some of the seefood dishes, i will substitue them for a different fish meal i will eat which has the same amount of calories. same for lamb or chicken.

2. finish the book. i will finish reading 'sweet poison - quit plan' and apply it. cut the crap out cold turkey. i will also do this with the girls, and hubby if i can....and by that i mean i can't control everything he eats, so what i do have some say in and i will make sure it is good healthy food.

3. diarise. i will mark out each week, on a saturday night, when i am going to exercise, do the grocery shopping, clean the house, visit friends, everything. that way i can't use the excuse of 'i'm not organised'! this ties in with point 1.

4. i will cut down on the tv watching.  it's my biggest down-fall, simply because i can sit in front of it for the 2 hours after the girls go to bed until the agent gets home. it would be ok if i did things while watching tv like the ironing, but i don't. it also means i get to bed late because after watching the tv i then get up and do the things i need to do.

5. go to bed earlier. that way i can get up earlier and exercise! simply really! i also prefer the early morning. it's when the world seems all fresh!

6. use my 'it's all about me' journal. i will log what i eat. i will weigh all ingredients. i will calorie count. it's the only way i can stay on track and i bought the bloody book so i need to get my money's worth out of it!

7. listen to the mindset videos. michelle does 2 videos each week. one is a live feed with her answering questions put to her by 12wbt members. the other is a 'mindset' lesson. i will listen to all of these and apply them to my life and my situations where needed. eg - she did one last week on eating out. can definitely use that one!

i have 6 kilos to loose. i can loose that in 6 weeks, if i am strict on myself, cut the caffeine out of my diet, go to bed earlier and eat wholesome foods and not dead-calories. i love exercise.  i love the endorphins it produces!!!

right, time to get my shopping list organised......