the question each and every mother asks themselves at some stage.
and that's how i'm feeling right now.
the agent and i had a fight. in front of the girls. i'm upset cos even tho he was the instigator, when i walk way, the girls stay with him.
suppose being on the trampoline at the time was a bit more of an incentive to stay with daddy! i'm not looking for them to take sides - ever.
it just hurts.
it hurts that he is their preference.
it hurts that bubble told me this week that she wanted daddy to stay at home, and that i was the one she wanted to go out and earn the money.
it does not help my self esteem at all - my own self esteem or my parenting self esteem.
as it is i deal with the girls 6 days a week on my own. the agent leaves at 7:30-8am, and isn't home till long after the girls are in bed.
and that's cool. i'm used to it. yes it is getting a bit much for me given i'm 30 weeks pregnant. but hey, i'll put my girl panties on and deal with it.
i just hate that the person i love the most in this world can hurt me and make me so angry. the agent knows how to push my buttons and whether or not he does so intentionally i don't know.
i hate when we fight, and i'm left in a blubbering mess. we get along so well, and there is so so so much passion in our relationship. fortunately or unfortunately, it's passion at both ends of the scale!
ok rant over. not quite the post i had in mind for today, but ya get that.
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