challenge: 12 hours without technology

i often hear of people wanting to go 'a whole day without technology'. a whole 24hours without using social media, their phone, whatever.

me? i think about it, every now and then. i reckon i could quite easily go 24hours without using facebook, pinterest, twitter, my phone, the tv. my husband tho? he'd have a heart attack if he was unable to reach my due to my phone being turned off!

i have decided that tomorrow, i will be switching my phone off from 7am/7:30am which is around the time we get up in the morning, till 7pm/7:30pm which is the time i put the girls to bed.

i'm going the spend the whole day focused on my girls. more importantly, i'm going to do things they want to do - 'they' being my bigger two girls. we'll be at home for most of the day, apart from going to the gym in the morning. i won't even need my phone there, as i'm going to charge my ipod over night to use for music while on the rower.

we won't be watching tv. i won't be using the computer. my phone will come with us if we go any where, in case there is an emergency and i need it to make a phone call.
i'm actually excited about this! wonder what the girls will want to do...? reading? colouring? dressing up? who knows!

the only down side to this is i won't be able to take photos, as i use the camera in my phone to takes pics thru out the day!

this week's mantra...

i see a lot of pictures with quotes on them on pinterest which i want to put in this post.

however i'm going with just one. 

one mantra per week is enough me thinks.

here it is...

goals....resolutions....hopeful outcomes...

oh i don't know what to call them.

anyway, things i want to achieve/do/have happen/whatever word you want to use in 2012...

* have this baby! the agent is really hoping it comes on his birthday i think. which is january 4, our due date. so it'd be pretty cool if it did come then, and shared it's birthday with it's daddy! and also it's cousin. january 5 and it'd share it's birthday with it's grandfather, the agent's dad.  just soon....i'm a bit over the pain it gives me when it sits in a certain way and is right on one of my nerves. it HURTS!!

* i want all of us to have breakfast together every morning of the week. dinner is not viable, as that time of the evening is best for the agent to be making calls and seeing clients. we've tried him coming home and then going back to work, but he still loses time at the office and as much as it was nice having him home for that short while, i think it upset bubble and bug when he left. so i'm voting we cut out the whole 'dinner as a family' thing the agent's mother seems to insist on us doing and we do 'breakfast as a family' instead!

* i want to remember people's birthdays and send them cards! as much as i agree with my mum - cards can be a complete waste at times - it is nice to receive them. i've bought myself a wall calendar, and have written family birthdays in it already. not everyone, just immediate family. the $2 shop has great cards for all occasions, and for less than $2!! bargain! will stock up on them next time i'm at the shop, so as i have the cards on hand and ready to post out!

* bubble and bug will be going to daycare 2 days per week, same as last year. i have decided i will relax about the state of the house on the days they are here. so long as it is liveable and safe, i am going to aim to enjoy them. if they make a mess, so what? the days they aren't here i'll clean like a demon. they both had so much fun being outside with my MIL, their new big bubble wands and a bucket of water. i want to do that. i feel as tho i don't 'play' with them enough. so in 2012, i'm going to make that change. i will play with them more. sure i will have to focus on lbm3 as well, but i'm not going to forget my girls and leave them to their own devices. i haven't been able to interact with them as much cos of this beach ball on my front, so i look forward to being in there, in the action with them again.

* i want the agent and i to have a date night, at least twice a month. more if possible. he wants the same thing too. i know cos he told me! as he said, we may not go out but we'll still spend time together, doing something without the kidlets. well, except for lbm3 for the first few months!

i think the rest of the things i hope to achieve i will break down in to separate posts....such as health and fitness, family, money, career (dare i dream?!)...

goodbye 2011......hello 2012!!!

today is the last day of 2011.

wow. can not believe a whole year has gone by.

feels like it went by pretty fast, and then this past week has sorta dragged....

maybe that's cos we're still waiting for lbm3 to make his/her grand entrance? maybe cos of all the christmas stuff which has happened? maybe cos bubble & bug are not here and it is so unusually quiet i seriously don't know what to do with myself?

i think it's a combo of all those things!!!

as always, there is talk about new year resolutions.

i don't think i've ever made a resolution, and stuck to it as much as i'd like!!

instead of 'resolutions' i'm making 'goals' for 2012. and this ties in with the 26 things i want to achieve before i turn 26. which is a post i haven't finished, cos i can't think of 26 things!!

so here's to 2012. i'm planning on it it being bigger and better than 2011. i mean, the arrival of a baby in the very near future? not much can top that!!!

hope you get more out of 2012 than you did 2011 - all positive of course!

november...

i didn't write a lot at all during november.

mum and dad were here a fair bit. mum's dad, my granddad, was unwell and going downhill. not at break-neck speed however not slowly either. which was a relief.

he died on november 16.

this is my granddad....

yes, my granddad looks like colonel sanders...

he played up to it too! he was a school teacher and students would call him the 'colonel' 

and he would wear black-rimmed glasses and a white dinner coat. he loved it!!

it was a relief really. we were praying he wouldn't suffer, and he didn't.

i really do not like the time in between a person dying and the funeral. time for the family involved stands still, yet life still goes on. it sucks.

so november wasn't too great.

the agent and i went to the awards night for the real estate company he works for.

us at dinner...

the agent won 'sales person of the year' which is based on how much commission the sales person makes per quarter.

he was the 'winner' out of all the sales people who work for the company!! that's my hubby!! he's been in the top 2% of century21 real estate agents. top 2% in the world that is. 

i'm just a wee bit proud of him!!!

we had a great night. mum and dad looked after bubble and bug for us. hoping next year they'll look after all 3 kidlets so that the agent and i can stay in the city and party on with everyone! this years awards was held at the hilton in the city, and everyone went down to the marble bar to keep on partying. it'd be nice to do that next year, as we are getting to know a lot of people from the other offices which is great!!

i'm now 35 weeks pregnant with lbm3. my pelvis is a lot better. physio is helping me. really hoping the pain goes away after i give birth like it did after my first 2 pregnancies. not long to go now! i've gained 8kgs. not sure whether to be happy about that or worried. books say by now i should have gained 10-15kg. i wasn't over weight before falling pregnant. 

my doctor sent us for an extra ultrasound a month ago. she measured my tummy and said "you're small. go have a scan and make sure baby is growing ok." 

so we did.....we were 32 weeks 5 days when we had the scan. baby was measuring 34 weeks. 

yikes!!!!

the ultrasound technician (who did all my scans with bubble and bug) said lbm3 will probably be about the same size as bug was at birth - 3.49kg and 51.5cm long. hope lbm3 doesn't get any bigger!!!!

so not long to go now. both bubble and bug were 11 days early based on the due date my obstetrician gave me. so anywhere from 3-5 weeks to go.

i've realised that as much as i love being pregnant, i am looking forward to starting to the next chapter. i know what happens next, and i'm sorta sick of waiting for it to happen! i'm not scared of labour or birth. i simply cannot wait to meet the little person!! and i think the agent and i have finally agreed on a full boys name! i still have 2 girl names i really like, just not sure how the agent feels about them....but we are hoping it's a boy. actually no. we're hoping it's a baby and that it's healthy and has all the right bits in the right places and all it's bits are working - eyes, ears, mouth, nose, fingers toes, lungs everything. i don't mind if it's a boy or a girl.

so long as it's not 'food' which is what bubble decided was in my tummy a few weeks ago. she looked at me and simply said 'mummy, i think it's food.' yeah no baby....mumma hasn't eaten that much!!!

#iheartmybody

sara from Tis The Life posted this on her blog this morning.

i loved it! i'm all for women learning to love their body, and appreciate it for all it can do.

sara looks smokin' by the way - popped out the gorgeous worm 14 weeks ago. 14 weeks! wow! no way did i look like that after either bubble or bug were 14 weeks old! you go sara!

so here is my post.....taken with my iMac's photo booth, so excuse the crappy quality!

i'm 30 weeks pregnant with baby #3 (lbm3 as i like to call it) today. 10 weeks left.

i see myself side-on in some photos and think 'wow. i'm freakin' huge!!!' which i guess is to be expected at the pointy end of the pregnancy!

my boobs are big, and i'm well aware they're only going to get bigger. not really looking forward to that, nor am i all the excited about how they're gonna be once lbm3 finishes breast feeding. but we'll worry about that later.

my body is amazing. it grew 2 little people inside it, popped them out pretty much on it's own and then continued to nurture them for 8 months. (yes i only breastfed till the girls were 8 months old. i'd had enough by then!)

it is now growing a third little person.

it takes a beating from me, and has done over the course of my life....
2 broken arms. same arm. i was in yr 1 when i first broke it and yr 2 the second time. my left arm now sorta bends a bit further than my right, and i can't touch my left shoulder with my left hand properly.
broken finger. my ring finger. it's wonky.
numerous falls from horses, one fall resulting in above-mentioned broken arm and another fall, many years later resulting in concussion (and all the side-effects from that).
cuts, scratches, bruises. quite a few scars from those.
tried to slice my hand open with a saw in wood work in yr 9. didn't succeed. which is probably a good thing.

if the list above were called 'involuntary' beatings then there are the 'voluntary' beatings it's taken. such as ingesting a rather large amount of alcohol at an extraordinarily fast pace. and smoking cigarettes. and getting tattoos. that's about the extent of my 'wildness'....and i'm quite thankful it ended there!

with the pregnancies i have gotten stretch marks, horrible morning/evening sickness, wonderful aversions to foods, and this time around the most amazing spider/varicose veins up my legs. that i'm pretty bummed about, as i used to think i had amazing legs. now i don't want to show them off at all. :(

but still, my legs carry me and my tummy around all day. my legs allow me to do my gym classes, go on walks with my girls and ride our bikes as a family.

i am not as toned as i'd like to be, however i am honestly looking forward to learning how to juggle three children, a husband and life in general once baby comes. it's gonna be fun!

so at the moment, i honestly can say i truly-ruly heart my body. i need to reward it and appreciate it more by fuelling it with the correct foods, not chocolate.

compared to the teenager in high school, i am more comfortable with my body now than then. i am well aware of what it can do, what it has done, and what i will be pushing it to do in the future - both giving birth and then getting back in shape.

bubble + i

am i good enough?

the question each and every mother asks themselves at some stage.

and that's how i'm feeling right now.

the agent and i had a fight. in front of the girls. i'm upset cos even tho he was the instigator, when i walk way, the girls stay with him.

suppose being on the trampoline at the time was a bit more of an incentive to stay with daddy! i'm not looking for them to take sides - ever.

it just hurts.

it hurts that he is their preference.

it hurts that bubble told me this week that she wanted daddy to stay at home, and that i was the one she wanted to go out and earn the money.

it does not help my self esteem at all - my own self esteem or my parenting self esteem.

as it is i deal with the girls 6 days a week on my own. the agent leaves at 7:30-8am, and isn't home till long after the girls are in bed.

and that's cool. i'm used to it. yes it is getting a bit much for me given i'm 30 weeks pregnant. but hey, i'll put my girl panties on and deal with it.

i just hate that the person i love the most in this world can hurt me and make me so angry. the agent knows how to push my buttons and whether or not he does so intentionally i don't know.

i hate when we fight, and i'm left in a blubbering mess. we get along so well, and there is so so so much passion in our relationship. fortunately or unfortunately, it's passion at both ends of the scale!

ok rant over. not quite the post i had in mind for today, but ya get that.

the 'lay-buy' system

so i just jumped out of the shower, and have a podcast from the 12wbt playing in iTunes.

the part it was up to was where mish was talking about the lay-buy system, saying no and empowering yourself. and this ties in to my '26 by 26' post of getting my eating under control...

as she said, there are people out there who believe they MUST have a chocolate every day. or a lolly. or a soft drink. or in my case, as red bull & chocolate.

for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to stop having red bull and chocolate. as mish says, saying no empowers you. you take back a bit of the control these items have over you. she talks about your will power muscle, and says that at the moment, it is probably as strong as an iceberg lettuce leaf that has been sitting in the bottom of the fridge for a few weeks.

yup. mine is that strong.

i used to be so good at eating the right things. sure, i'd say yes to chocolate. i love chocolate.

it's time i took back control.

it's time i said no more times than i say yes. not just no to red bull and chocolate. but to fronti, and lollies, and biscuits.

i know i can say no. i have said it plenty of times before!

i will use the lay-buy system. i find myself thinking about how lovely and cold the red bull feels as i swallow it....in the middle of my gym class for effs sake! i will push those thoughts from my mind. if i feel i need it, i will have some sparkling water instead, and tell myself if i still feel this way tomorrow, then i'll go buy them. chances are i won't tho, as i'll be feeling so good for saying no that i won't want to ruin it!

i will stay in control and be strong.

i will transform my will power muscles from an iceberg lettuce leaf to arnie's bicep.

i can do this. i must do this, as i am the only one who can do it for me.

and i will always remember.....

today is a better day!!!

today is so much better than yesterday!!

body attack this morning was AWESOME! i pushed myself on the x-trainer and treadmill before hand and burned 200 calories.  then during the class, the 'fit girl' was there and stood right behind me - talk about incentive to not slack off! (the 'fit girl' is a girl who would do the classes i was doing when i first went back to the gym last year.  she was super fit, super toned and super tanned! she would squat minimum of 18kgs on EACH end of the barbell during pump!! that's a whole lot of power in her thighs!!)

so the gym was great - burned nearly 600 calories during attack. had to leave at one stage to go to the loo. but that was ok, i think i needed the break. but i was able to jump, and i was running, and i was keeping up! it was great! i get such a rush from not just the classes, but the cardio! i love it!

i've gotten little bits done at home. not things that i had thought i would do, but they are things which needed doing today. like the bulletin for church. 95% complete - just waiting for some more info for it.  and the maintenance guys were here and our lawns are now mowed! yay! the grass was up to my knees in some areas! they didn't take the cuttings with them so i will rake it up later, but that's ok - incidental exercise!

and now i'm about to have a yummy lunch - chicken and salad wrap with corn relish yum! and i'm starving! been a long time since that yummy mango 3 hours ago!

just have to decide if i want to do body step. i'd like to, but i feel ok not doing it. will see what twitter says....

just some thoughts....goals....things i want to do

i have not had the 'need' to blog lately.

the 'want' yes. but not the 'need'.

a girlfriend had her 19-week pregnancy scan yesterday. she was excited to learn she is expecting a little girl, having already had 2 boys!! yay! however, the scan also revealed that baby has a cleft palate. poor darling. i don't know much about cleft palates. i do know that things can be done to correct them. it would still be such a shock to learn something such as that about your little baby. very shocking. 

so i sent said girlfriend an email, to let her know i'm thinking of her and her husband at the moment. they live in qld, so i can't go and see her. and since wirting the email, i actually feel like doing some writing of thoughts i have going around my mind! yay! about time!

and now of course....i can't remember what i want to write! argh!

darn pregnancy brain!

off to set some goals instead.....that is one thing i wanted to do!

sunday life magazine...

of all the papers the great country of ours produces, there is only one i am actually willing to part money with.

and of the single paper - the sun herald if you're wanting to know - there is only one teeny tiny part of it i actually read.

the 'sunday life' magazine.

why? cos that's where mia freedman's weekly column is published! and it's where michelle bridges now has a weekly column too.

yay!!!!!!

sunday october 2 2011. michelle column is titled "copping it sweet"

'there comes a time in every adults life when they have to just say "NO" to sugary lollies and cakes.'

i agree. there does come a time when that should happen. however, statistic would say that it doesn't, given the current number of obese adults in not just australia, but the world. (and no, i'm not saying it's ONLY lollies etc making people obese/over weight/podgy/not-looking-like-mish-at-all. i realise some people are bigger due to other factors, such as lifestyle and health reasons. but let's not get in to that just now, yes? ok)

i was listening to some of the podcasts from the 12wbt rounds i did. one i listened to today was all about 'silencing the inner teenager'.  that is what michelle goes on to talk about in her column.

my inner teenager is voicing her opinions, letting me know what she wants and when loud and clear. i have realised i listen to her more than i listen to myself.

and i had thought that i was sick of her ages ago. guess i wasn't tho. cos if i was, i wouldn't be writing this post, nor would michelle's column have struck a cord with me the way it did.

i have realised i want to be as healthy as possible during the last 13 weeks of being pregnant with lbm3. to me, that means no more chocolates on a daily basis. no more red bull. everything in moderation, including the healthy stuff. i'm not worrying about calorie-counting. i think at the moment, being pregnant and simply making sure i eat the correct foods is more important.

i've also decided that we, as a family, will be getting up at 6am, to be out the door hopefully by 6:15am to go for a bike ride. i am really really hoping the weather warms up. i am getting sick of the cold. i have realised i need something in the morning to wake up to and enjoy. the agent leaves for work pretty much after we wake up, and i'm on my own with the girls from the word 'snooze'....which is the button i want to hit on my alarm but don't! i truly believe that exercising first thing is a great way to start the day - it helps me think clearer, gets me outside and moving as opposed to my other workouts which  are all indoors, and it will eb something we do on a daily basis as a family. we don't have many things we do throughout the week together. i think this will be a good one - and a good way for the agent to get fit!

so i'm silencing my inner teenager how?
1. by seeing how many hours it has been since i last ate. i was told once you should eat every 4 hours, as that allows enough time for your stomach to digest you previous meal. not sure if this is true, so i will do some googling on it. however i find that if i get to 5 hours between meals, i start getting cantankerous! so 4 seems pretty good.
2. i will pack fruit in my gym bag to eat straight after my class. this will allow me to have NO reason to go to the service station for my sugar hit!
3. i will be organised!!!!!! oh, that is a whole other post in itself. some things i have realised. organisation is crucial to success. success in any area of life - health, fitness, family, career. time to hone in on it, as i feel i can be pretty organised some of the time. just need to up that to all the time!
4. by working out how much i have spent on red bull and chocolate. and then by saving what i would be spending in my ing account. christmas is coming up!!
5. by realising what message i'm sending to the girls. i've asked people, including my parents and their own father, not to give them fizzy drinks. why? i'm not sure really. i just feel they don't need it. ok, so if i feel that way about some sort of food product not being ok for the girls, why is it ok for me? i don't allow them to eat certain foods (for religious reasons mostly, and personal choice is coming in to it too) so why do i allow myself? my girls deserve a mummy who is in -tip-top shape. about time they got one!
6. by saying ENOUGH!!!! and sending my inner teenager to her room!
7. and by realising what it is that sets her off......

motivation - something real or a crockpot full of crapola?

great post today by mia freedman on her website. you can read it here.

it's all about motivation, featuring one of my favourite people on the planet, michelle bridges!

so i read the article this morning, and have read it again this evening and now am reading the comments left by other readers.

a lot of people out there think mish and mia are full of shite. that there is no such a thing as motivation.

i agree, to an extent.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going” (Jim Rohn, motivation expert).

i agree wholeheartedly with that statement. motivation is what gets you started. it's why people join a gym. 

creating the habit of exercise tho? well that's the hard part.

"motivation is like a bad boyfriend. never there when you need them!" (michelle bridges, fitness expert).

once you've begun exercising, the next step is working out how to keep going.  and that can be challenging, to say the least! a lot of people find that the feeling they get after their workout is complete is enough to go back the next day and do it all again. 

for others tho that may not be enough. maybe it's wanting to fit in to some specific items of clothing, such as skinny jeans or swimmers.

for others however, it may be something a little more internal. and for me, it was.

i went back to the gym when bug was 4 months old. i did not exercise when i was pregnant with her or bubble. nor did i exercise between each pregnancy. prior to going back to the gym, i would put both the girls in the pram and go for a walk. there are a lot of hills where i live, so they were a challenge! 

i had not been coping. it was not fun, inside my head. however a line from a movie i loved as a teenager kept going over and over in my mind:

exercise produces endorphins. 

endorphins make you happy.

happy people do not kill their husband.

- elle woods (reese witherspoon) 'legally blond'

did i want to kill the agent? hmmm, no not really. ok maybe, a little. a LOT. especially as he 'wasn't going thru what i went thru every day. he was only ever there when it was all good.' and the girls? i would never ever harm them. however i completely understood why the mothers do what they do in the horror stories you hear about. scary, but true.

so one afternoon, when i think the agent couldn't come home like i'd asked him to/he'd promised to, i went for a walk. 

i don't know that i actually felt very good afterwards. i do know that i was simply happy to have been out of the house for an hour! 

i then got the agent to contact his cousin about getting me a member pass to his gym. the member pass come thru, and i've been going ever since.

exercise is what pulled me thru the first 6 months of bug's life, where i was simply existing. i adored both the girls back then and still do. i found tho that after my morning gym class, i felt more in control of my life. more.....able to cope with what the day threw at me. be it vomit from bug, or bubble not doing as i asked. (looking back, she was 18 months old for effs sake steph! give the kid a break! aahhh hindsight. thou art a wonderful bitch.)  i could simply cope, with my life, better on the days i had exercised compared to the days i didn't. i had more patience. i was happier. and it helped me not be depressed. as i've said before, by the time i saw psychologist, i was at an 'anxiety level' and not a 'depressed' level. no help from drugs, and i was so glad when my psychologist said she didn't think i needed them!

as mia said in her article, without exercise she becomes 'moody mcbitchface'. oh, so do i! 

i still struggle to do it every day. however there is a saying i heard whilst doing the 12wbt: "you always regret NOT doing a workout. however you NEVER regret DOING a workout!" and it is so true! i love that i stayed and did step after pump last tuesday. sure, i was bloody tired on wednesday and only lasted half an attack class, but i felt so good at the same time! so each time i think about NOT going to the gym, i'm telling myself that little quote. when i remember (bloody pregnancy amnesia!) 

and so far, when i have remembered it, it's worked! i've gone, done the class and felt bloody fantastic afterwards!

hmmm....hhhhhmmmmmm.......hhhuuummppphhh!!!

i have had no idea what to write.

hence the lack of posts for nearly 2 weeks.

lbm#3 is still going great.  thank heavens. the agent sat in front of me while i was sitting on the lounge last night, and sang to lbm#3. lbm went off! kept kicking whilst his/her daddy sang 'hush little baby' him/her. it was so nice. i had happy tears! lbm had been very quiet yesterday, so i was getting worried. bit daddy singing made him/her wiggle, which eased my fears!

bug & bubble are gooooood....if only they'd realise 5:45am is NOT a reasonable time to get up! argh!!!! we get up because of them once, maybe twice during the night. if not more. they are both forever trying to get in our bed through out the night. i need this habit broken. last thing i need is to be feeding a newborn with the agent, bug and/or bubble in the same bed as me. it's driving me insane! they've both been great sleepers, and now suddenly - oh look! it's midnight, time to party! oh look, it's 3am, time to party! argh!!!! the agent is so tired half the time (cos he doesn't go to bed at a reasonable hour) that bubble can simply slide herself in to bed beside him without him even realising!  the more i think about it, the more i'm driven bat-shit crazy by the whole shituation! they share a room, and it seems that as soon as one is awake, she wakes the other up. bug used to be the kind that slept from 7am till 7am, 8am, even later. bubble used to be 7am-7pm without fail. i get she's a bit older now tho so may not need 12 hours solid. but 10 hours makes her super cranky after a day or 2. argh! thinking i'll put bubble in the spare room in the queen size bed and leave bug in her own room. i'd like to get a single bed for bubble but i just don't know if it would fit in the room she and bug share at the moment. we'll be using bubble's cot for lbm when he/she arrives. and to be honest, i'd rather not get a single bed and just get a double bed for her. much easier for her and me or the agent to fit into if she is sick.

the agent is working hard. no change there. looking forward to next weekend, as we're going to the hunter valley for a wedding. can't wait! mum and dad will be there, as will my brother. and we managed to get accommodation 5 minutes from the ceremony location, and 5 minutes from the reception location. bonus! and it has a pool. double bonus! it will be nice to be away, with the agent, and with family who are willing to help out with our girls. bit of a break? i HOPE!

and me? i'm good and crap all at once. 2 saturday's ago, the agent and i went to a 'men's cooking night' at his boss's place.....out of 8, yes EIGHT course, i could eat ONE. thankfully it was the dessert course and i'm not even sure i should have eaten it.
each couple had to bring a meal and prepare it at the house of the the agent's boss and then serve it up. there were oyster + vegetable shots, blue cheese in dates, raw mince, prawn salad, fish soup, pork something, venison something, duck orange.   yeeeaaaaahh, due to personal choice, being pregnant and religious reasons, i don't eat  ANY of that food. i had a bit of the prawn salad minus the prawns. i tried to eat the fish soup but it was simply DISGUSTING. and the dessert was a mousse something, which was yummy but i think it had liqueur in it....not good. oh and then there was how long the night went for. they had the last main course, the venison at 12:30am. they served dessert up after 1am. fucking ridiculous! who eats at that hour?! oh that's right. DRUNK PEOPLE. but usually it's kebabs, not duck or venison! we got home after 2am, think it was about 2:30am. the agent promptly went up to bed, leaving ME to deal with the prawn guts and heads he'd left on the sink after preparing the prawns for his salad at home before we left. G R O S S. i was livid! i let him have it the next day. i was not only tired at 9am, i was starving! i know it's not his fault i don't eat any of that food. it was the leaving me to clean up his fucking mess that did it for me! argh! the week following sort of went down hill.....i was tired, so my workouts were tough. bug was unwell. her molars are coming thru we worked out this morning, which means her ears are hurting her. i think it's that and the fact that she now does swimming on sundays. i think the water may be upsetting her ears. it hasn't been fun. oh and then my car had a flat battery. not happy. the girls then got into a pot of vaseline. vaseline is sticky shit. does not come off in cold water, or hot. baby wipes to the rescue! they were the only thing that got the shit off the girls hands. gggrrrr!!!!!

so i haven't been eating too great. nor have i been doing the women's health 21-day reboost. i couldn't be assed lately!

i have gotten a couple of things ticked off my to-do list. i want to do a 'to-done' post soon. maybe tomorrow.....

i did do a double pump/step class yesterday morning. and it felt sooooo good! i love that i stayed for step! been a while since i did that! just wish my leg would stop getting tired on me so fast - makes working out hard!!!

i'm feeling rather blah today. walked out of attack cos of said leg playing up. my heart was not in it. i struggle with attack. lots of jumping and running. i am looking forward to exercising without a baby bump, and being able to jump high like i normally do!

think i'm gonna have to adopt a JFDI attitude for the rest of the day - suck it up princess and just fucking do it. do whatever it takes to get thru the day! argh!!!!!!!

21 days to reboot your life - women's health mag

this article in the october issue of women's health caught my eye.

i feel as tho something is lacking - and it's not just the 'ugh' off the end of tho. i know how to spell the word properly. that is just the way i choose to spell the word!

so anything that would help me 'reboot' sounds good to me!

week one is all about setting new habits.

week two is all about upgrading the good bits.

week three is all about upping the motivation.

each week has 3 sections - fitness, mind and life. for fitness it gives you a workout to do each week with how many reps and at what intervals. for mind and life it gives you a task to do each day. obviously one task is to help your mind, the other to benefit your life.

the agent is in to anthony robbins and his shit. american self-help/motivational speaker. the sound of his voice is enough to put me to sleep. which incidentally it did the one time i tried listening to one of the agent's cd's.....

michelle bridges is my 'anthony robbins'. at least that's the way i've described her and the effect her words have on me to the agent, in the hopes he'd understand. granted i did not apply myself 100% to the 12wbt. i did however see the results it had in other peeople. and once lbm3 is born, damn skippy i'm gonna make sure i follow it to the letter. i think it may be the thing which helps me cope with 3 kids!

so tomorrow, i'm going to start week 1 of the reboot.  at the gym i will do my normal fatburner class, and at the end do the workout WH's says to do. 

the first task under 'mind' is to cut booze out. well, that's not hard at all - yay!! one task already completed! 

the first task for 'life' is to "cut out email first thing in the morning and last thing at night". for me, this will be internet usage altogether. instead of facebook and twitter whilst sitting at the table having breakfast with bubble and bug, i'm going to focus on what i'm actually eating and what the girls are doing. and after bug's efforts with weet-bix for tea tonight, i'm going to have to start watching she doesn't try and apply it as an all-ove body scrub. rascal!

i honestly think i will struggle with a couple of the tasks. like writing my own eulogy. that one is set to outline what you are doing versus what you want to be doing. well, duh. i already know the differences there. and that's pretty much my whole life at the moment.

anyway, we'll cross that bridge when we get there......

and there's even a check-off box page in the mag, where i can tick that i've done the task. hehe love seeing boxes filled with tics of completion!

goals - september 19 - 24 2011

another list.  can you tell i like making 'em? if only i was as good at shortening them as i am making them....well, that's something to work on!

1. go. to. the. bloody. gym. every.single.day!!!!

if last week proved anything to me, it's that i need to exercise to keep my head thinking clearly. exercise has become a necessity for me. and i truly believe it's one of the best, most positive things i could need to do in my life. sometimes the want is not there. and that's when i need to remember this little gem:

 you will ALWAYS regret NOT doing a workout.

however, you will NEVER regret doing a workout.

2. devote saturday's entirely to my munchkins.

monday - friday i go to the gym. monday, tuesday and friday i drag bubble and bug with me. the other days, they're at daycare. saturday mornings we go to church. we end up being there for 1 and a half hours. there's the learning part, then some craft and morning tea, and then all the kids get to run wild, literally, in the junior room. it's wonderful. and now that the weather is becoming warmer, the room is not as cold, which makes going all the more enjoyable! after church we come home and bug usually has a sleep. we'll then just spend the day doing what they want to do, playing in the sandpit, with the water, on the trampoline and swings, or going for a walk. of course, all of this is weather permitting!

3. clean my bathrooms.

this is a carry-over from last week. i really need to do it. i know that it takes me a bit longer than it takes my mum to do hers. i really don't know how she manages to do her bathrooms (2 toilets, laundry sink and bathroom sink) so quickly. but she does. must ask her! as always, this task i know will not be painful once i start it. it's just starting it!

4. eat clean. all day. every day.

no red bull. no chocolate. no crappy food. 

i want to eat wholesome foods, filling foods, ones that are beneficial to my body, and of course lbm3. and i will blog the foods i eat, as the one day (father's day) that i did this, i ate really well compared to the other days when i have never blogged about my food intake.

yes it can be a bit tedious and time consuming. it is more than worth it tho! i felt alive on the day i did it. energised properly, not from crappy caffeine drink.

5. finish sorting out my clothes and putting them into the bags, and then onto boxes.

6. follow the 21-day life re-boost in women's health magazine. 

will blog more about this later tho.

7. post off my hrm to be fixed! 

i actually miss it! the agent's one doesn't show me calories burned during a workout. only shows them once i've switched it off!

8. return my shoes to betts!

9. get the church bulletin done - no mistakes and printed by thursday.

10. make the doctors appointment i slept thru last week!

oops....

11. tidy my desk up.

12. find the forms my obstetrician needs for the hospital!

one of those days.

so.

today.

horrible day.

not weather wise. the weather was glorious. i noticed that as soon as i looked out the window. sunshine and blue sky - no clouds! although they did roll around later this arvo. hope it doesn't rain, i have washing on the line!

anyway. the agent said to me this morning 'do you mind if i work sunday?'

do i mind? of course i fucking mind! gah!

normally i don't. however he has been working very long hours lately. wasn't home till 9pm at the earliest all week. it sorta sucks.

anyway, i told him i did, wasn't too keen on it, we have the girls swimming lessons, blah blah blah. deep down tho, i knew if he needed to, he would no matter what i said.

so off he goes to work. and my mood steadily worsens, as i remembered his response last night when BOTH the girls were calling out 'daddy!', which happens to be what they call HIM, his father. 'i'm ignoring them.' 

oh. really? so i got up to them both. which i don't mind doing. i do when they're calling him but i can generally settle them faster than him. the sciatica nerve makes getting out of bed painful and awkward. 

so that added to my bad mood and it got really bad when i got to my car.

i'd left the interior light on. for 14 hours straight.

car battery was flat. dead. not going to be going anywhere any time soon.

shit.

i looked at my watch and realised there was not enough time for me to get the girls in the pram and walk to the gym. not that i was keen on pushing both of them in the pram anyway. pushing bug on tuesday made my back hurt for the whole day. do not want to think about how it would be after pushing both of them and a step class.

so bak upstairs we go, and i call scott in tears. i'd already sent him 2 texts messages telling him off and how i felt. i knew he was in a meeting so didn't expect a response nor for him to answer his phone. but he did.

he told me to call nrma, which i didn't. i did not want to deal with people when i was as angry/upset/in tears as i was.

girls and i pottered about the house a bit, me the whole time feeling horrible. sad. lonely. depressed. tired. 

he came home aorund 12:30pm, started my car by jump starting it. no idea if it goes at all tho, cos i didn't go for a drive anywhere. so the morning will tell all.


it was just a crappy day, cos i was focusing on all the negative shite that was circling in my head.


the agent came home early. like as in 5:45pm early. he's dealt with bubble and bug and i've had a loooong hot shower and washed my hair.


i know i need to focus on the positives in my life. and there are so many of them.


i also know i need to exercise.


i'm a firm believer in what reese witherspoon said as elle woods in 'legally blond':
exercise produces endorphins.
endorphins make you happy.
happy people don't kill their husbands.


now, i don't want to kill my husband, it's the rest of the statement i find to be very very true!


so i'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day. a day where i have the energy to focus on my girls, and get the stuff done i need to do.


it's all about shifting my focus, which i find hard to do. not all the time, just some times. sometimes i get very bogged down in believing and dwelling on all the areas i think i'm failing at.


it's hard to change one's focus, and i find exercise helps me with that.


for now tho, i'm off to iron the agent a shirt for tomorrow, and then go to bed. i'm very tired, not to mentioned drained.

12 week body transformation

so a year ago i did my first round of the 12wbt.

i then did round 1 & round 2 this year. 

failed, in my eyes, miserably.

as mish says:

consistency is key

JFDI - Just Freakin' Do It!

do the preseason tasks

i didn't do any of that too well. in my opinion.

i did JFDI a few times and am getting better at applying it to my life!

so round 3 has started for this year. i did not sign up....wait for it....cos i'm pregnant. what a pathetic excuse! argh!

so, i am going to do it on my own. i have heaps of podcasts from the rounds i did, of mish's mindset lessons, the preseason tasks and the live feeds.

i still follow the blog of the lovely kath from courage2start.

she is hosting a 'blogging challenge' for the 12 week duration. 

i'm going to do my version. obviously there will be bits i won't be able to do, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

so.....here's my response to the first 'challenge' kath posted!

1. Describe yourself in 25 words or less. You can get straight to the point - or bring your creativity into play. 

i'm loud, loving and confusing! i'm supportive and need support. love to exercise. love my family. love being out in the sun! bring on summer!!

2. What brings you to 12wbt? Getting fitter? Losing weight? (Gaining weight??) Are you first timer, a repeat offender??

i'm a 'repeat offender' you could say. i'm gaining weight - thankfully for a good reason and not too fast either! i'll be 24 weeks (6 months) pregnant with bubbi #3 on saturday. i'm doing this to help keep my food habits in check. i could really quite easily let loose and put just about anything in my mouth. which i unfortunately have been.

i'm looking to at least maintain my fitness at the moment. i no longer do the abs section of the classes and i have lowered my squat weight in pump as my lower back gets quite sore quite easily. i'm making amendments to my workouts and i'm ok with that. so far anyway! 

3. Why do you blog??

i blog to record my memories.....thoughts....feelings.....things which my family and i do. i only have one follower so far, the lovely holly of good golly holly and i'm ok with that! not quite game for people i know (such as my family and my mum) to read this blog yet....i'll tell them about it one day!

i'm trying to blog my food intake. the ONE day i actually did that i ate really well! of course chocolate was still consumed however it was father's day and the agent's toblerone....yummmmmm

4. Who is your biggest inspiration in life and why (doesn't have to be weight loss)

i have 2 people who inspire me....make that 3....

1. michelle bridges of course! i own all 3 of her books, and learnt quite a bit from them prior to doing the 12wbt. i love that she didn't adopt a 'victim mentality' early on in life after she was sexually assaulted. i love that she has the get-up-and-go to achieve her dreams. i love that she sees there is a problem with our country's weight, and the world's weight, and is quietly doing something about it thru her 12wbt. i also love that she is humbled by the appreciation people show her for what she helps them achieve. she is still a 'real' person, not a 'celebrity' who has let her fame go to her head. i have met her, and she is lovely. just wish i had remembered to ask her the couple of questions i'd wanted to! 

2. my mum. she is such a strong woman. without putting my dad in a bad light, she puts up with a fair bit from him. what woman doesn't put up with some sort of crap from her man?! she (and my dad of course!) managed to raise my brother and i into what i'd like to think, fairly decent human beings. she showed us the world does not end at guyra, the small country town we grew up in. she raised me to have beliefs in God, which i am now showing to my daughters. my mum does the best with what she has. she somehow managed to survive my teenage years, cos i was a shit. a big shit of a teenager. i dread to think what bubble and bug are gonna be like! argh! i think bug will end up worse than bubble, cos bug is sooooo much like me it's scary! 

my mum loves my girls, my husband and i and does anything she can do to help us, even though she lives 600kms away. such as putting bubble into daycare and paying for it just after bug was born as she knew i wasn't coping.

my mum will do anything for us, and i love her for that.

3. my husband. he has shown me how life could be, would be and should be. and how to achieve it. he drops everything if i ring him in distress and helps me when he can. he works really bloody hard, and long hours, nearly every day of the week. he fortunately doesn't work sundays any more. and for that i am ever so grateful! 

he coaches me, teaches me and has shown me the power of language and the power of positive thinking (this baby will be a BOY! this baby will be a BOY! this baby will be a BOY!!!!!! do you think it works like that?! hahahaha)

he also loves me, adores me and would do anything for me. i have seen this to be true with things his mum has said to me. and i love it. not in a way that i would take advantage of him of course. i just love that he still loves me even tho i am pigheaded and bloody obnoxious at times. he loves me even though i'm faulty! and i love him. sure i wish he were a bit fitter. for a man who does not exercise he is still quite fit. ok, so i wish he had the chiseled-ryan gosling abs....mmmmmm

the agent is currently working harder than ever as we've found a house we want to buy. and not just a house that we could move in to.....oh no....the agent had to go and choose a house which needs work done to it. we could move in straight away, but it needs updating, and a bedroom added.....and a hack saw taken to the back yard! ah well, it's always fun and games with the agent. never a dull moment, and i love it. he loves our girls, absolutely adores them. can't ask for much else!

5. What things in life bring you the most joy?

exercise. step. seeing a large amount of calories gone after a great workout!

animals. i love horses. horse riding. 

feeling lbm3 kick. seeing lbm3 move on the ultrasound screen. being told everything is ok with him/her.

my girls. bubble and bug. bubble does not stop bloody talking. it does get a bit much but i love it. she says 'medicine' 'milicent' which cracks me up. bug doesn't say much in the way of real words. she has her own language thing happening. i love it.

the sunshine. the smell of rain, especially on a hot summers day. the smell of freshly cut grass. the smell of the agent's manfume - bvlgari aqva. the smell of my perfume - lancome hynose.

seeing that it is a beautiful day outside when i wake up and look out the window.

hearing that my family are coming to visit! love having visitors, especially as my in-laws and my parents all live far far away.

hearing the garage door open tells me the agent is home. hearing he had a great day - achieved lots/sold a house or 2. anything that makes him happy.

hearing an all-time favorite song and having a sing. which i cannot do to save my life.

6.What do you think your greatest challenge is going to be this round?

not eating the wrong things! i really have a sweet tooth, and it seems worse when pregnant. or is that just an excuse? i don't know! i love how alive i feel after eating nutrient-rich low-calorie foods. i sleep better when i don't eat chocolate/drink caffeine.

staying organised all week. i start out great, and generally end badly. organisation is key. 

7. What are you most excited about 12wbt?

reading about other people's success. i would normally put 'learning new things to cook' but as i don't have access to the website i can't put that one. next round....next round....there you go. i'm excited about next round!

8. And what scares the pants off you?

not losing the weight i'm obviously gaining at the moment. that my body won't 'go back' to what it once was. of course it has already changed. i now have hips. and stretch marks. on my ass. a few on my tummy. but that's part of pregnancy. i guess i just know i worked consistently to lose the weight after bug was born, and i loved having my whole wardrobe available to me to wear. maybe i'm scared of the hard work? not cos it will be hard. i know that, and i love to exercise hard. love pushing myself. but trying to do it with THREE kids? that's completely new to me. again, we'll cross that bridge when we get there. but it does scare the pants off me. again, have to be organised!

9. Tell me - right now - today - how do you feel about exercise in no more than 10 words.

excited! love it! look forward to changing my body next year!

10. Complete this sentence - in 12 weeks time - on the last day of 12wbt I am going to be feeling ____________________

probably hot and bothered, and fat! hahahaha all in a good way of course! but excited, for everyone else and reading what they will have achieved! and excited that the next round is that much closer and it'll be my turn again!

so there ya go. i'm going to keep doing this, to try. NO. i'm going to do this to keep myself on track for the remainder of this pregnancy. i deserve it. lbm3 deserves it. and bubble and bug deserve the best mummy their mummy can be. the agent deserves a fantastic wife.