dreams

The lovely Holly from Good Golly Miss Holly wrote a post yesterday about university, and how she is moving towards her dreams of being a nurse/midwife.

As a mum who is working part time and has 2 children, as well as all the other 'life' stuff to juggle, I have nothing but admiration for Holly. I do not know Holly at all. I've never met her. I only know what I've read about her on her blog. I find her to be absolute awesome - a few of her posts have really resonated with me. I enjoy her writing.

Ok enough of kissing Holly's cyberspace-butt....! Hehehehe!

Anyway.

I've been thinking of a dream I have a bit more than normal lately.

Part of me thinks I am crazy to even be thinking of it all right now, given I'll have a new baby soon.

But who doesn't love a challenge?!

My dream is to become a certified Les Mills group fitness instructor. I'd like to teach body pump, body step, body attack and body balance. And maybe RPM, but I've never been a bicycle lover!

My ultimate, big, huge, large and scary dream is to own a gym. The agent's cousin owns a franchise. The latest gym he opened up is in western australia. I use one if his gyms now and my dream is to keep the business in the family and eventually talk to him about opening a franchise. The suburb the agent and I have decided to eventually move to after the girls have started school does not have one of these gyms. I'm sure it has other gyms of course!

So, inspired by Holly, I'm going to look into how much the Les Mills courses cost. From memory I think the courses are run over a weekend!

I'm worried about remembering how to do the moves. I don't even remember the moves and I've done the classes thousands of times already! But as my mum said, I'd be taught how to break down the tracks, which would help me remember them!

I don't want to stop at gym class instructor tho. That's just the first step. I'd like to know more about nutrition. And maybe a massage course. The whole package!

And this ties in with my '26 by 26' post! Which I must actually finish! I'm having trouble thinking of 26 things!!

So, in relation to the above photo, my dreams must be big, cos the scare the crap outta me!



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what i'm loving on pinterest...

so i have a new addiction.


one that isn't costing me anything as yet. i guess you could say 'internet usage fees' but i pay for that already. sorry, correction. the agent pays for that!


it will only cost me money and not just time when i decide to 'get my craft on'.....

my addiction is 

here are some things i've 'pinned' on my virtual pin-boards lately....

this is a dior coat from 1955. have asked mum if she could make one for me similar to this....

he makes me smile every time i look at him! love poochy smiles!

hahahahahaha if only!!!

since reading this, i am remember it more. i'm finding i actually get up and do things instead of thinking 'oh i'll do it later' or 'the agent can do that'! 

only a few people will understand how powerful this is.

it's that simple really.

this looks waaaaay too cool! 

it amplifies the iPhones music up to 4 times, without using any energy. 

neville longbottom got H O T.

pinterest is proving useful for ideas of things to do to and put in our new home. 

such as artwork like this!

it's also given me ideas of things to do with the girls.

such as this: tape their name out on a canvas and then let them paint all over it.

once dry, remove the tape and voila!

off to get the paint and canvas ready for the girls now! this is actually exciting!!!

#iheartmybody

sara from Tis The Life posted this on her blog this morning.

i loved it! i'm all for women learning to love their body, and appreciate it for all it can do.

sara looks smokin' by the way - popped out the gorgeous worm 14 weeks ago. 14 weeks! wow! no way did i look like that after either bubble or bug were 14 weeks old! you go sara!

so here is my post.....taken with my iMac's photo booth, so excuse the crappy quality!

i'm 30 weeks pregnant with baby #3 (lbm3 as i like to call it) today. 10 weeks left.

i see myself side-on in some photos and think 'wow. i'm freakin' huge!!!' which i guess is to be expected at the pointy end of the pregnancy!

my boobs are big, and i'm well aware they're only going to get bigger. not really looking forward to that, nor am i all the excited about how they're gonna be once lbm3 finishes breast feeding. but we'll worry about that later.

my body is amazing. it grew 2 little people inside it, popped them out pretty much on it's own and then continued to nurture them for 8 months. (yes i only breastfed till the girls were 8 months old. i'd had enough by then!)

it is now growing a third little person.

it takes a beating from me, and has done over the course of my life....
2 broken arms. same arm. i was in yr 1 when i first broke it and yr 2 the second time. my left arm now sorta bends a bit further than my right, and i can't touch my left shoulder with my left hand properly.
broken finger. my ring finger. it's wonky.
numerous falls from horses, one fall resulting in above-mentioned broken arm and another fall, many years later resulting in concussion (and all the side-effects from that).
cuts, scratches, bruises. quite a few scars from those.
tried to slice my hand open with a saw in wood work in yr 9. didn't succeed. which is probably a good thing.

if the list above were called 'involuntary' beatings then there are the 'voluntary' beatings it's taken. such as ingesting a rather large amount of alcohol at an extraordinarily fast pace. and smoking cigarettes. and getting tattoos. that's about the extent of my 'wildness'....and i'm quite thankful it ended there!

with the pregnancies i have gotten stretch marks, horrible morning/evening sickness, wonderful aversions to foods, and this time around the most amazing spider/varicose veins up my legs. that i'm pretty bummed about, as i used to think i had amazing legs. now i don't want to show them off at all. :(

but still, my legs carry me and my tummy around all day. my legs allow me to do my gym classes, go on walks with my girls and ride our bikes as a family.

i am not as toned as i'd like to be, however i am honestly looking forward to learning how to juggle three children, a husband and life in general once baby comes. it's gonna be fun!

so at the moment, i honestly can say i truly-ruly heart my body. i need to reward it and appreciate it more by fuelling it with the correct foods, not chocolate.

compared to the teenager in high school, i am more comfortable with my body now than then. i am well aware of what it can do, what it has done, and what i will be pushing it to do in the future - both giving birth and then getting back in shape.

bubble + i

am i good enough?

the question each and every mother asks themselves at some stage.

and that's how i'm feeling right now.

the agent and i had a fight. in front of the girls. i'm upset cos even tho he was the instigator, when i walk way, the girls stay with him.

suppose being on the trampoline at the time was a bit more of an incentive to stay with daddy! i'm not looking for them to take sides - ever.

it just hurts.

it hurts that he is their preference.

it hurts that bubble told me this week that she wanted daddy to stay at home, and that i was the one she wanted to go out and earn the money.

it does not help my self esteem at all - my own self esteem or my parenting self esteem.

as it is i deal with the girls 6 days a week on my own. the agent leaves at 7:30-8am, and isn't home till long after the girls are in bed.

and that's cool. i'm used to it. yes it is getting a bit much for me given i'm 30 weeks pregnant. but hey, i'll put my girl panties on and deal with it.

i just hate that the person i love the most in this world can hurt me and make me so angry. the agent knows how to push my buttons and whether or not he does so intentionally i don't know.

i hate when we fight, and i'm left in a blubbering mess. we get along so well, and there is so so so much passion in our relationship. fortunately or unfortunately, it's passion at both ends of the scale!

ok rant over. not quite the post i had in mind for today, but ya get that.

feeling, well, weak

Weak. That's how I've been feeling lately. The pain in my back from this baby is really wreaking havoc with my mind, my emotions, everything!

I know that whilst pregnant women tend to become a little emotional. I'm well aware of that!

This is different tho. I remember these feelings after bug arrived. The ones who had a voice in my head telling me 'you can't do it...'.

That's how I've been feeling and thinking. That I simply can not do this. And it all happens at the end of the day. Right when I'm getting the girls ready for bed. The little voice gets louder, mainly cos a new thought has entered my mind recently: I'm sick of doing this on my own.

And I am. That much is true. I wish the agent worked better, more family-friendly hours. However his chosen profession states his best work hours are after hours.

Anyway.

Weak is how I've been feeling and I am so glad I re-read a saying not so long ago: you never regret doing a workout. The only workout you regret is the one you do NOT do.

That saying is what has made me go to the gym every day last week and every day so far this week. I've felt strong and in control after my workouts. and that's why I do them!!

So whilst the pain is really becoming unbearable, I am proving to myself that I am strong enough to tackle it head-on. And that was a problem I'd been having, that I couldn't block the pain from my mind. That was super frustrating.

But again, exercise pulled me thru. It might hurt a little while I do the workout but that pain is nothing compared to how disappointed I feel when I don't go to the gym.





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the 'lay-buy' system

so i just jumped out of the shower, and have a podcast from the 12wbt playing in iTunes.

the part it was up to was where mish was talking about the lay-buy system, saying no and empowering yourself. and this ties in to my '26 by 26' post of getting my eating under control...

as she said, there are people out there who believe they MUST have a chocolate every day. or a lolly. or a soft drink. or in my case, as red bull & chocolate.

for as long as i can remember, i have wanted to stop having red bull and chocolate. as mish says, saying no empowers you. you take back a bit of the control these items have over you. she talks about your will power muscle, and says that at the moment, it is probably as strong as an iceberg lettuce leaf that has been sitting in the bottom of the fridge for a few weeks.

yup. mine is that strong.

i used to be so good at eating the right things. sure, i'd say yes to chocolate. i love chocolate.

it's time i took back control.

it's time i said no more times than i say yes. not just no to red bull and chocolate. but to fronti, and lollies, and biscuits.

i know i can say no. i have said it plenty of times before!

i will use the lay-buy system. i find myself thinking about how lovely and cold the red bull feels as i swallow it....in the middle of my gym class for effs sake! i will push those thoughts from my mind. if i feel i need it, i will have some sparkling water instead, and tell myself if i still feel this way tomorrow, then i'll go buy them. chances are i won't tho, as i'll be feeling so good for saying no that i won't want to ruin it!

i will stay in control and be strong.

i will transform my will power muscles from an iceberg lettuce leaf to arnie's bicep.

i can do this. i must do this, as i am the only one who can do it for me.

and i will always remember.....

26 before 26

a lovely lady i follow on twitter posted this list on her blog....

sara posted '30 by 30' as she turned 29 a couple of weeks ago. it's her list of things she wants to accomplish/achieve by the time she is 30.

so here is my list....i'll be 26 on august 23 2012. and it's in no particular order. may have to come back to the list and add to it to be honest!

1. have this baby! yes alright i know that that's a given! but seriously, it's on my to-do list!! i've got 10 weeks and 2 days till my due date. hoping to make it to 2012, but baby may come early, as it's sisters did!

2. join the 12wbt and follow the program. i've seen the results other people have gotten. people who threw themselves in to the program whole-heartedly and trusted mish completely. the next round i do, i will be like that. the first round begins in february i think, so it could be perfect timing to help me lose the baby weight!

3. run a fun run! i don't know enough about running/running events to say how far and which event i'll do. i'd like to aim for a 5km fun run, and then work upwards from their. the agent used to do triathlons, and has said he'd love to do them again. i'm open to that! love swimming, enjoy running and the bike? well, i'll put up with it!

4. buy a house the agent has a found a house he loves, and now we just gotta buy it! it needs a bit of work, but that's cool. we'll get all renovations done before we move in! i figure we can live where we are until lbm3 is about 6 months old. maybe a bit longer. just have to see how we go. and hope the economy picks up a bit!

5. veggie garden! i'd love to grow our own vegetables. i'd get the girls involved, and it would certainly help out with the weekly expenses! not enough yard space where we are now, so this is something to hopefully do in the new house.


6. family holiday bubble has said she wants to visit disney land. i honestly don't think she has any idea what disney land is. i don't think she even knows were disney land is! she only knows it exists cos a girl in her room at daycare went there and has told her about it. however. i know what and where disney land is, and i wanna go there too! i also want to go to new york, and the smithsonian, and mt rushmore, and the grand canyon. so a huge family holiday to the states would be wonderful! however, given we want/need a house (see point 4) even just a family holiday to some warm, tropical place would be aweosme. like the sea temple resort in port douglas, which is where the agent and i stayed on our honeymoon. would love to go back there with kids, and maybe grandparents to help out too!

7. girls swimming the new house has a pool. yes it has a fence. however, as my father-in-law said "you treat the fence around a pool as tho it's NOT THERE." so true. the girls are doing swimming lessons now. and they love it. they love the water. so we MUST keep them in swimming lessons. forever and always as far as i'm concerned. if there's one sport i'd love for the girls to excel at, it would be swimming. no stress on the joints. it's a skill which can/could help them survive. and the body swimmer's end up in having? well, as far as i'm concerned, my girls are little cuties. and if swimming helps them stay that way, especially bug who refuses to eat fruit or vegetables, then that's an added bonus!

8. decide on baby #4 the agent and i have said since bug was born we'd like 4 children.however, given how sick this pregnancy has made me - from morning sickness of an evening, to the migraines lasting 2-3 days, to the sciatica nerve, to the lower back pain - i have already told the agent it is going to take a LOT of convincing to get me to go again. i'd love 4 children. that's what we said we wated. just have to see how we go once lbm3 arrives i guess. and then workout do we want a big gap between lbm3 and #4 or a smaller gap like there is between bubble and bug. decisions, decisions, decisions. i can't believe i'm 29 weeks pregnant with lbm3 and ALREADY contemplating #4! eeeeek!!!!

9. read more books i used to read books all the time. nowadays, i read magazines (women's health of course) or news articles on the net on my iPhone. or i watch TV. not good. i'd rather read, and let my imagination escape. i watched 'tomorrow when the war began' last night. i haven't read that book, or the sequels since high school! off to the library i will go today to find it and start reading that series again and we'll see if it's as good as i remember! i also have mao's last dancer to read (borrowed AGES ago from my grandmother) and the agent has one on nelson mandella i bought him for christmas one year i'd like to read. don't know enough about mr mandella, and i think i should. and to kill mocking bird. haven't read this since yr 10. must read it again! so the goal is to read 26 books. that's one per fortnight for the next year. will try to have them all read by my birthday tho!

10. perfect clean eating with the aid of 12wbt, it's forums and podcasts. i have all the tools, i'm jsut not picking them up and using them. i am nto accountable, and i let my inner teenager and labrador run riot. tightening their leashes now!

11. pinterest artwork i see a lot of fun, easy(ish?!) artworks on pinterest i'd love to try with the girls! my issue here is i get tense about it easily. i will over come this and we'll do them!

12. family photos i want to have some pregnancy photos taken, as well as more after lbm3 arrives. have talked to the agent about it, and he agrees. just need to find a photographer now!

13. hair cut! bite the bullet and DO IT! my hair, when straightened, comes down to the bottom of my shoulder blades. at the moment, it's a hair cut, not a style. sure, i may miss being able to scrunch it if i chop it all off. and if i go short, i'll have to maintain it and that could be hard. i at least need to go and talk to my hairdresser and get his thoughts on the who shebang.

14. shoes... buy myself a pair of christian louboutins. as a reward for something.....possibly for starting my bhag....

15. shoes again... buy myself a pair of manolo blahniks. just cos i can. just cos i want a pair!

16. tiffany & co there is a tiffany & co ring i LOVE. i would love to have it on my ring or middle finger on my right hand by my 26th birthday.  (no one ever said i had expensive taste, did they??!!)

17. wardrobe makeover i am wearing clothes i wore when i was in high school. nothing wrong with this i know. i just feel as tho i still dress in a way which is not quite appropriate for the age i now am. nor for the person i now am. no i am not wearing mid-driff tops! yuk! i pretty much live in my lorna jane workout gear. and i have a whole heap of that! i see pictures of cute outfits on pinterest, and i'd like to start dressing a bit more in the outfits i see. not necessarily with the heels tho....

all the other outfit pictures i've found are on my phone....dammit!! but that one gives you an idea of what i mean!

18. bhag bhag stands for 'big hairy audacious goal'. my bhag is to become a fitness instructor. actually that's my little bhag. the agent's cousin owns a series of gyms across sydney. the gym i go to is one of those gyms. my largely huge bhag is to open a gym, run it and teach classes in it. so i'm going to, for now, start small and work my way up. i want to become a les mills instructor - instructing pump, step, attack, combat, balance and anything else i can learn to instruct. i LOVE group fitness. and i figure if i love it so much, why not make a career out of it? i know the agent would love me to do something, and he's said he'd love for me to open  gym one day, as he knows health and fitness is my passion. just like real estate is his. (for the record....real estate is NOT my passion. and this frustrates the agent no end. more on that another time tho...) so i'm going to find a way to study and learn the classes and whatever else is involved in becoming a les mills instructor, around having 3 kids. eeeek!!!!!

something i read...

...on pinterest of course!


i had no idea where else to save it, so here seems like a good idea.


it's a great idea, and i'm going to be doing step one with bubble (and bug when she masters conversations in english and not just bugish) each night from now on. just hope my pregnancy amnesia doesn't get in the way!


"Bully-proofing your kids"


Starting when their son was 3, psychologist Tammy Hughes and her school psychologist husband started teaching him. At night, they'd say, "Tell me three good things that happened to you today." This helped him make the distinction between events and his feelings about them. 
Once he had that mastered, they added, "Tell me three good things that happened to someone else (lesson: the world includes me and other people, their feelings and actions)." 
Next they asked, "Tell me something you did that worked out well." and "Now, tell me something that someone else did that worked out well for someone else." 
These simple questions help children differentiate themselves and others, and (teach them) cause and effect. If you can connect these ideas and feelings, then it helps children to prepare to identify bullying -- negative versus positive behaviors -- and who did what to cause the outcome.

daycare picnic!

Bubble's room at daycare went on a little excursion today!

Parents were invited too, and the disappointment I felt after not attending the athletics carnival they went to a couple of weeks ago, I went along too!!

It was perfect timing for me - I was able to do pump this morning, and then get changed and head up to daycare.

The kids had to have a 'buddy', someone whose hand they held while walking to the park. Bubble of course held mine! I was given the option of taking bug too, but decided I just wanted it to be special time with my bubble. Plus bug is more inclined to run off than bubble!!

We walked over to the park and this involved going thru a tunnel which goes under the main road. A lot of the kids thought this was great - they got to yell really loudly and hear their voices echoing! Bubble didn't like it. Said it made her ears hurt which made sense to me!

Once at the park the kids all sat on a picnic blanket and listened for the birds. We heard a few and saw some, and also saw a kerosene budgie fly over.

Then it was time for lunch!!
















After lunch, it was time for some games - ring-a-ring-a-rosie and duck-duck-goose.







Bubble's turn to be 'goose'!






By then it was getting close to the kids' nap time, so back to daycare we went. There were some beautiful flowers about too...









Bug saw me when we got back to daycare. Poor darling, didn't want me to go!! Managed to get her to lie on her bed, and snuck out.

It was lovely to be able to spend a little bit of time with my eldest girl. I don't get many one-on-one moments with her. It was just lovely!!

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today is a better day!!!

today is so much better than yesterday!!

body attack this morning was AWESOME! i pushed myself on the x-trainer and treadmill before hand and burned 200 calories.  then during the class, the 'fit girl' was there and stood right behind me - talk about incentive to not slack off! (the 'fit girl' is a girl who would do the classes i was doing when i first went back to the gym last year.  she was super fit, super toned and super tanned! she would squat minimum of 18kgs on EACH end of the barbell during pump!! that's a whole lot of power in her thighs!!)

so the gym was great - burned nearly 600 calories during attack. had to leave at one stage to go to the loo. but that was ok, i think i needed the break. but i was able to jump, and i was running, and i was keeping up! it was great! i get such a rush from not just the classes, but the cardio! i love it!

i've gotten little bits done at home. not things that i had thought i would do, but they are things which needed doing today. like the bulletin for church. 95% complete - just waiting for some more info for it.  and the maintenance guys were here and our lawns are now mowed! yay! the grass was up to my knees in some areas! they didn't take the cuttings with them so i will rake it up later, but that's ok - incidental exercise!

and now i'm about to have a yummy lunch - chicken and salad wrap with corn relish yum! and i'm starving! been a long time since that yummy mango 3 hours ago!

just have to decide if i want to do body step. i'd like to, but i feel ok not doing it. will see what twitter says....

Title? I can't think of one...

So today I struggled. Big time. Even a 3 hour nap with bug didn't do much good.

Yesterday I felt strong. Alive. In control. Capable of doing just about anything even tho my back hurt like hell by lunch time.

I smashed out over 609 calories in fat burner on Monday morning. I've not done that many in a long time! I felt great! I was running. I was doing the high options. Granted I couldn't keep doing them the whole time but I still did them!!

Today? I don't know what happened. I went all prepared to do pump and step back-to-back. That didn't happen.

I struggled. I struggled with pump big time. I no longer lay down during triceps as the nerve just gives me hell when I do. I think I'm going to have to stop doing the chest track vertically too. I could feel my lower back hurting during squats. I felt the nerve pull during lunges. And it was a lunge track I like!

It sucked. Even laying down to do abs/stretch if hurt.

I'm over the pain. Over the nerve. I am yet to work out how to mentally block it out. I just can't seem to and it's beginning to get me down. Badly. I even rang the agent and cried to him. As I said to him 'how often does pain reduce me to tears?!' not often. Had a chiropractor tell me once my tolerance level for pain was pretty high!

I'm over it. Over the pain defeating me. Over how long it takes for my body to recover.

And over not know what do about it, nor knowing if there is anything I can do about it. I think that's the most frustrating part.

People suggest a physio. Or a massage. They sound great but I think it would be a case of when I needed them most I wouldn't be able to have one.

Anywayz.

Tomorrow is a new day. Actually it already is tomorrow. Whoops.

Tomorrow I'm going to get things done.

I'm going to do the meal plan for this week and next.
I'm going to make the appointments I need to.
I'm going to tick off some jobs.
I'm going to smash body attack as hard as I can!
And most importantly...
I'm gonna love my girls as much as I can!

And the agent too of course...!

So now I need sleep. Badly. Argh! Another thing I hate - how tired I am cos of how late I get to bed!!!

And I'm going to remember this:



And this:



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love :)

found this on pinterest...




It really makes me think.
Not just about how much I love bubble, bug & lbm3, but just what I would do for them.

And that is ANYTHING!

I truly believe that until you are a parent, you have no idea just how much unconditional love you can have for someone.

And just how much your parents love you!

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loving pinterest

i've fallen in love with pinterest

i have spent a lot of time tonight....today.....just looking at it, saving images to my iPhone and now my computer.

it's given me ideas for christmas presents. ideas for things to do with bubble and bug.  ideas for photos.

i LOVE it!

however, it's now 12;47am, and my girls will be up at 6am no doubt. time for a shower, a fast shower i think!

pinterest is sooooo much fun! love it!

goals - 16 october - 22 october 2011

1. family bike ride. and not just on sundays either.

the agent is doing the sydney-gong bike ride. 90km one in fact. yikes. he's gonna have a sore butt after that!

anyway, since we now each have a push bike (well, he has 3 i think, but only one bum!) and our bikes have the kids seats on them for the girls, i want to start riding more often. sundays are best of course, as there is no time constraints. however with the sun being up at 6am, and my children thinking they should be too, i'd rather we all got up and rode for 30-45mins in the morning. the agent wasn't too keen on this idea, as riding with us is not enough of a workout for him which i completely understand. he and one of the guys from his office who is doing the gong ride too have taken to meeting at 7am for a ride together - one that goes further and harder than what the girls and i can manage.

i pointed out to the agent tho, that i'd rather start riding as a family NOW at 28 weeks pregnant rather than wait till after the gong ride when i'll be 31+ weeks pregnant. he agreed to it, provided we are back home by 7am for him to then go again on his own. i'm fine with that! now it's just a case of setting my alarm, getting the girls in to bed earlier, getting myself into bed earlier and getting up in the morning to do the ride! i love starting the day with endorphins, and i figure this is one thing the girls can do with their father during the week. they have hardly any contact with him other than sundays, so a bike ride of a morning would be great. family time + exercise = win-win situation

2. be organised.

in everything.

training times written in my diary.

meal plan written up and stuck up on the fridge.

girls' routine written up and us following it.

shopping done and put away!

cleaning done.

ironing done - so that the agent doesn't run out of shirts! not that he has for a couple of weeks now, yay! go me!

it will take a lot of energy to do it all - and my energy levels seriously wane in the evening.....

3. blog this week!

not every little minute detail of my life....just my thoughts, success, failures.....

4. top of my cupboard cleaned out.

sooo many clothes up there. all need sorting!

and now i can't think of anything else....

just some thoughts....goals....things i want to do

i have not had the 'need' to blog lately.

the 'want' yes. but not the 'need'.

a girlfriend had her 19-week pregnancy scan yesterday. she was excited to learn she is expecting a little girl, having already had 2 boys!! yay! however, the scan also revealed that baby has a cleft palate. poor darling. i don't know much about cleft palates. i do know that things can be done to correct them. it would still be such a shock to learn something such as that about your little baby. very shocking. 

so i sent said girlfriend an email, to let her know i'm thinking of her and her husband at the moment. they live in qld, so i can't go and see her. and since wirting the email, i actually feel like doing some writing of thoughts i have going around my mind! yay! about time!

and now of course....i can't remember what i want to write! argh!

darn pregnancy brain!

off to set some goals instead.....that is one thing i wanted to do!

little baby matthews #3 - update

think this is more 26 weeks along....

we are now at week 28 of the pregnancy!

WOW. can. not. believe. it!

only 12 weeks till my due date. sooooo hoping i make it to 2012 - would much rather a beginning of the year bub as opposed to an end of year bub! but time will tell.

had a routine check-up with my obstetrician on wednesday.  everything is good. lbm3 has moved in to the head-down position....however we can see it's face! naughty naughty bubbi - roll over please! lbm3 is in the 'posterior' position, which means it's looking out my belly button and it's back is pressing on mine. which makes me think perhaps that's why my lower back gets so sore so quickly, and the nerve has pressure on it...? i don't know.

baby doctor told me she'd give me some exercises to do if lbm3 does not flip over on it's own. i'm not too worried. i had been hoping to have a labour without drugs, seeing how i was induced and had the gas and epidural for both bubble and bug. we'll jsut have to see how we go. have been told that having a 'sunny-side up' baby during labour is BLOODY PAINFUL. forget about everything else that is going on, the pain of baby pressing on your back is worse than the contractions! eeek!

lbm3 seems quite lazy to be honest! last sunday i felt no movement until late in the afternoon. don't really like that fact! i think i can just remember bubble wiggling, and when she did she did with gusto! bug wasn't as big a wiggler as bubble....maybe my kids are totally chilled out in there? i don't know....sorta wish lbm3 would kick me a bit more!!

not long to go now tho.....only got girl names picked of course! ha! have found no boy names that have gone 'yes! i'm the name you want to give to your baby!' so hoping we find one soon....!

grateful for family!

this Saturday I'm grateful for my family.

We're all going to a wedding in the hunter valley on Sunday. So excited! Will post about it next week tho.

Bubble had a week up at mum & dad's farm. They all travelled back yesterday. At 2am this morning, my brother arrived here from broken hill!! He drove for I don't know how many hours straight! Scary, but he's here and safe and that's all that matters.

It is so lovely to be surrounded by them. It's great that bubble and bug recognise them and are happy to go to them. It's great that they are all willing to play with the girls too. I love it! It not only strengthens the relationship between grandchildren and grandparents and nieces and uncle, it builds memories.

And I hope that my girls, and lbn3 have plenty of memories with these three people. Cos aside from bubble, bug, lbm3 and the agent, my mum, dad and brother are the most important people in my life.

So it's absolutely wonderful that we're all together for the weekend. It's a rare occurrence these days, so I'm gonna make the most of it!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

sunday life magazine...

of all the papers the great country of ours produces, there is only one i am actually willing to part money with.

and of the single paper - the sun herald if you're wanting to know - there is only one teeny tiny part of it i actually read.

the 'sunday life' magazine.

why? cos that's where mia freedman's weekly column is published! and it's where michelle bridges now has a weekly column too.

yay!!!!!!

sunday october 2 2011. michelle column is titled "copping it sweet"

'there comes a time in every adults life when they have to just say "NO" to sugary lollies and cakes.'

i agree. there does come a time when that should happen. however, statistic would say that it doesn't, given the current number of obese adults in not just australia, but the world. (and no, i'm not saying it's ONLY lollies etc making people obese/over weight/podgy/not-looking-like-mish-at-all. i realise some people are bigger due to other factors, such as lifestyle and health reasons. but let's not get in to that just now, yes? ok)

i was listening to some of the podcasts from the 12wbt rounds i did. one i listened to today was all about 'silencing the inner teenager'.  that is what michelle goes on to talk about in her column.

my inner teenager is voicing her opinions, letting me know what she wants and when loud and clear. i have realised i listen to her more than i listen to myself.

and i had thought that i was sick of her ages ago. guess i wasn't tho. cos if i was, i wouldn't be writing this post, nor would michelle's column have struck a cord with me the way it did.

i have realised i want to be as healthy as possible during the last 13 weeks of being pregnant with lbm3. to me, that means no more chocolates on a daily basis. no more red bull. everything in moderation, including the healthy stuff. i'm not worrying about calorie-counting. i think at the moment, being pregnant and simply making sure i eat the correct foods is more important.

i've also decided that we, as a family, will be getting up at 6am, to be out the door hopefully by 6:15am to go for a bike ride. i am really really hoping the weather warms up. i am getting sick of the cold. i have realised i need something in the morning to wake up to and enjoy. the agent leaves for work pretty much after we wake up, and i'm on my own with the girls from the word 'snooze'....which is the button i want to hit on my alarm but don't! i truly believe that exercising first thing is a great way to start the day - it helps me think clearer, gets me outside and moving as opposed to my other workouts which  are all indoors, and it will eb something we do on a daily basis as a family. we don't have many things we do throughout the week together. i think this will be a good one - and a good way for the agent to get fit!

so i'm silencing my inner teenager how?
1. by seeing how many hours it has been since i last ate. i was told once you should eat every 4 hours, as that allows enough time for your stomach to digest you previous meal. not sure if this is true, so i will do some googling on it. however i find that if i get to 5 hours between meals, i start getting cantankerous! so 4 seems pretty good.
2. i will pack fruit in my gym bag to eat straight after my class. this will allow me to have NO reason to go to the service station for my sugar hit!
3. i will be organised!!!!!! oh, that is a whole other post in itself. some things i have realised. organisation is crucial to success. success in any area of life - health, fitness, family, career. time to hone in on it, as i feel i can be pretty organised some of the time. just need to up that to all the time!
4. by working out how much i have spent on red bull and chocolate. and then by saving what i would be spending in my ing account. christmas is coming up!!
5. by realising what message i'm sending to the girls. i've asked people, including my parents and their own father, not to give them fizzy drinks. why? i'm not sure really. i just feel they don't need it. ok, so if i feel that way about some sort of food product not being ok for the girls, why is it ok for me? i don't allow them to eat certain foods (for religious reasons mostly, and personal choice is coming in to it too) so why do i allow myself? my girls deserve a mummy who is in -tip-top shape. about time they got one!
6. by saying ENOUGH!!!! and sending my inner teenager to her room!
7. and by realising what it is that sets her off......

motivation - something real or a crockpot full of crapola?

great post today by mia freedman on her website. you can read it here.

it's all about motivation, featuring one of my favourite people on the planet, michelle bridges!

so i read the article this morning, and have read it again this evening and now am reading the comments left by other readers.

a lot of people out there think mish and mia are full of shite. that there is no such a thing as motivation.

i agree, to an extent.

“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going” (Jim Rohn, motivation expert).

i agree wholeheartedly with that statement. motivation is what gets you started. it's why people join a gym. 

creating the habit of exercise tho? well that's the hard part.

"motivation is like a bad boyfriend. never there when you need them!" (michelle bridges, fitness expert).

once you've begun exercising, the next step is working out how to keep going.  and that can be challenging, to say the least! a lot of people find that the feeling they get after their workout is complete is enough to go back the next day and do it all again. 

for others tho that may not be enough. maybe it's wanting to fit in to some specific items of clothing, such as skinny jeans or swimmers.

for others however, it may be something a little more internal. and for me, it was.

i went back to the gym when bug was 4 months old. i did not exercise when i was pregnant with her or bubble. nor did i exercise between each pregnancy. prior to going back to the gym, i would put both the girls in the pram and go for a walk. there are a lot of hills where i live, so they were a challenge! 

i had not been coping. it was not fun, inside my head. however a line from a movie i loved as a teenager kept going over and over in my mind:

exercise produces endorphins. 

endorphins make you happy.

happy people do not kill their husband.

- elle woods (reese witherspoon) 'legally blond'

did i want to kill the agent? hmmm, no not really. ok maybe, a little. a LOT. especially as he 'wasn't going thru what i went thru every day. he was only ever there when it was all good.' and the girls? i would never ever harm them. however i completely understood why the mothers do what they do in the horror stories you hear about. scary, but true.

so one afternoon, when i think the agent couldn't come home like i'd asked him to/he'd promised to, i went for a walk. 

i don't know that i actually felt very good afterwards. i do know that i was simply happy to have been out of the house for an hour! 

i then got the agent to contact his cousin about getting me a member pass to his gym. the member pass come thru, and i've been going ever since.

exercise is what pulled me thru the first 6 months of bug's life, where i was simply existing. i adored both the girls back then and still do. i found tho that after my morning gym class, i felt more in control of my life. more.....able to cope with what the day threw at me. be it vomit from bug, or bubble not doing as i asked. (looking back, she was 18 months old for effs sake steph! give the kid a break! aahhh hindsight. thou art a wonderful bitch.)  i could simply cope, with my life, better on the days i had exercised compared to the days i didn't. i had more patience. i was happier. and it helped me not be depressed. as i've said before, by the time i saw psychologist, i was at an 'anxiety level' and not a 'depressed' level. no help from drugs, and i was so glad when my psychologist said she didn't think i needed them!

as mia said in her article, without exercise she becomes 'moody mcbitchface'. oh, so do i! 

i still struggle to do it every day. however there is a saying i heard whilst doing the 12wbt: "you always regret NOT doing a workout. however you NEVER regret DOING a workout!" and it is so true! i love that i stayed and did step after pump last tuesday. sure, i was bloody tired on wednesday and only lasted half an attack class, but i felt so good at the same time! so each time i think about NOT going to the gym, i'm telling myself that little quote. when i remember (bloody pregnancy amnesia!) 

and so far, when i have remembered it, it's worked! i've gone, done the class and felt bloody fantastic afterwards!