one of those days.

so.

today.

horrible day.

not weather wise. the weather was glorious. i noticed that as soon as i looked out the window. sunshine and blue sky - no clouds! although they did roll around later this arvo. hope it doesn't rain, i have washing on the line!

anyway. the agent said to me this morning 'do you mind if i work sunday?'

do i mind? of course i fucking mind! gah!

normally i don't. however he has been working very long hours lately. wasn't home till 9pm at the earliest all week. it sorta sucks.

anyway, i told him i did, wasn't too keen on it, we have the girls swimming lessons, blah blah blah. deep down tho, i knew if he needed to, he would no matter what i said.

so off he goes to work. and my mood steadily worsens, as i remembered his response last night when BOTH the girls were calling out 'daddy!', which happens to be what they call HIM, his father. 'i'm ignoring them.' 

oh. really? so i got up to them both. which i don't mind doing. i do when they're calling him but i can generally settle them faster than him. the sciatica nerve makes getting out of bed painful and awkward. 

so that added to my bad mood and it got really bad when i got to my car.

i'd left the interior light on. for 14 hours straight.

car battery was flat. dead. not going to be going anywhere any time soon.

shit.

i looked at my watch and realised there was not enough time for me to get the girls in the pram and walk to the gym. not that i was keen on pushing both of them in the pram anyway. pushing bug on tuesday made my back hurt for the whole day. do not want to think about how it would be after pushing both of them and a step class.

so bak upstairs we go, and i call scott in tears. i'd already sent him 2 texts messages telling him off and how i felt. i knew he was in a meeting so didn't expect a response nor for him to answer his phone. but he did.

he told me to call nrma, which i didn't. i did not want to deal with people when i was as angry/upset/in tears as i was.

girls and i pottered about the house a bit, me the whole time feeling horrible. sad. lonely. depressed. tired. 

he came home aorund 12:30pm, started my car by jump starting it. no idea if it goes at all tho, cos i didn't go for a drive anywhere. so the morning will tell all.


it was just a crappy day, cos i was focusing on all the negative shite that was circling in my head.


the agent came home early. like as in 5:45pm early. he's dealt with bubble and bug and i've had a loooong hot shower and washed my hair.


i know i need to focus on the positives in my life. and there are so many of them.


i also know i need to exercise.


i'm a firm believer in what reese witherspoon said as elle woods in 'legally blond':
exercise produces endorphins.
endorphins make you happy.
happy people don't kill their husbands.


now, i don't want to kill my husband, it's the rest of the statement i find to be very very true!


so i'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day. a day where i have the energy to focus on my girls, and get the stuff done i need to do.


it's all about shifting my focus, which i find hard to do. not all the time, just some times. sometimes i get very bogged down in believing and dwelling on all the areas i think i'm failing at.


it's hard to change one's focus, and i find exercise helps me with that.


for now tho, i'm off to iron the agent a shirt for tomorrow, and then go to bed. i'm very tired, not to mentioned drained.